


Murphy's Law

by Plouton



Category: One Piece
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-05 16:58:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18370247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plouton/pseuds/Plouton
Summary: You know that moment when everything you've ever known and loved and understood is brutally ripped from you following a painful death, and then you're forced to deal with the fallout when you realize you have been reincarnated into the corrupt, discriminatory, criminal-infested, gruesome, bastardized world of your favorite anime? Yeah, me neither. Cover by Kurobook





	1. Crucify

"So, Mercenary-chan," Nami's silky voice drags my attention away from the mug of beer in my hands and towards her form on the other side of the crackling fire place. She is lounging on a scruffy town pulled from her dingy, her toes buried in the cooling beach sand and her own mug of beer is balanced delicately in one calloused hand. "How did a pretty little thing like you end up in the company of two pirates?" She nods towards the two men.

Zoro is slouching back, legs splayed in front of him with one hand propping himself up. His swords lay on a towel next to him, keeping the sand from working its way into the leather and cloth of the sheaths. Luffy is draped comfortably over Zoro's legs on his stomach. His feet kick the air lazily and his head is supported by his hands, elbows buried almost an inch into the sand.

It is a surprisingly relaxing moment between the four of us. The lethargy from yesterday's fight with Buggy and our rapid escape from the islanders finally kicked in, and we decided to spend the night safe in a small bay on an uninhabited island.

"Ah, it's not exactly an interesting story," I wave Nami off, and take gulp from my mug. Luffy giggles at my artless avoidance of Nami's question, and Zoro's lips quirk into a smirk.

"No, no," Zoro's smirk widens in good humor, "I think we'd all like to hear your version of events."

"Yeah, Blue!" Luffy prompts "Captain votes: yes!"

I roll my eyes, "Fine, fine. It really isn't a great story though," I concede. I suppose in retrospect, I too want to know how I ended up involved with the protagonist. I could have sailed into any of the other four seas, but no. My run down little dingy landed me in Shell's Town, and in the very sea I was trying to avoid sailing into. At this point, I reflect, I would rather be back home in the Grandline. "Hmmm. Well my dingy and I sailed out of the Grandline—"

"Why were you in the Grandline?" Luffy interrupts.

"I'm from there."

"Oh, alright!"

"So, I sailed out of the Grandline but I was caught in a pretty large storm…"

My dingy tipped dangerously and I threw myself against the railing, trying to counterbalance. A wave broke over me, showering me with foam and salt water and my already weak grip on the wooden boards slackened further. I collapsed on the floor under the force of the onrushing water, partially secured under one of the rowing benches, and wrapped one arm around the mast as I scrabble against the wooden hull to haul myself back onto my knees. The boat tipped again and I threw my weight against the starboard side of the boat, just in time to prevent me from capsizing.

The storm had been raging for nearly five hours, and the combination of dehydration, hunger, and salt water was wearing dangerously on my exhausted body. My miniscule navigational knowledge told me I had been thrown way off course, and the merchant vessel I had originally been on had blown out of sight hours ago, along with the antagonizing pirate ship.

I was under the impression that the weather wasn't supposed to be as bad outside of the Grandline. Apparently I was mistaken. Another wave crashed against my boat.

17 years. I have survived for 17 years in this GOD DAMNED WORLD, and there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to fall to my watery grave now that I've made it so far. Not after escaping them. I gagged on the salty water and rocked with the boat. The tattered remnants of a black flag embellished with a jolly roger whipped through the air over my head. I collapse to my knees, and the steadily growing puddle of water pulled me into unconsciousness.

"So that's how the marines grabbed you?" Zoro pulls me from my recollections. "No wonder you looked like shit."

"Gee thanks," I retort, eyes narrowing. "You weren't looking too hot either."

The swordsman shrugs his shoulders lightly. "At least I was in that base of my own volition."

"Hmm. Well. I seem to spend a lot of my time in places not of my own volition," I shoot him a pointed glare, reminding him of my current predicament.

"Oi, oi. It's not my fault you're here," he gestures at Luffy, "it's his."

Luffy giggles again, cheeks flushing slightly as I turn my glare on him. "Not my fault, Zoro said he liked you, so I had to kidnap you." I wonder how much beer he's stolen from Zoro's tankard, he's quite a happy drunk. Giggly, but much more mellow than usual.

Nami snorts, a rather unladylike mannerism that would make her fit right in any pirate crew she attached herself to. It is also entirely falsified, though I give her props for her acting skills. "Nothing like mutual crucifixion to build a friendship."

"You are all terrible to me," I pout.

"Terrible to you? I pretty distinctly remember you being the terrible one. The first thing you did when you met me was call me a shithead."

"Yeah, well, the first thing you said to me was 'you look dead', just what every lady want's to hear."

"What can I say, I'm a real charmer."

"You're no lady," Luffy says. "You insulted me when we first met too."

I roll my eyes, "You're right, I'm not married to a lord. I'm actually a princess, obviously." I tease, poking the rubber boy's cheek.

Nami snorts again and drains her mug. "Continue the story. The marines dragged you into Shell's town and chained you up?"

I nod. "Basically. To be perfectly honest, there was nothing charming about my introduction to Roronoa Zoro. I looked half dead. He looked half dead. Helmeppo was a bit of a cunt. But we're all alive, so that's a definite win."

I groaned slightly, before breaking of into a weak coughing fit. My throat burned from the dry air and my headache told me of my dehydration. My lips were dry and cracked and my skin felt stiff from the dried salt. I blinked my eyes open, squinting due to the harsh sunlight. It took me a few moments to get my bearings.

"Shit! Fuck!" I swore, tugging on the rope that tied me to the wooden crucifix. It chafed my skin, irritating my sunburns further. I sagged, already drained and shut my eyes against my building headache. My stomach contracted painfully and I fight down the urge to vomit.

I didn't even have the strength to manipulate my devil fruit and cut myself free, an action which should have been so simple I could do it in my sleep. In fact, I have done it in my sleep. Wake not a sleeping lion and all that.

"Oh?" A surprised voice came from my left. "You're not dead yet?" The voice was deep and hoarse, and I knew without turning my head that the man was another prisoner.

"Do I look dead to you, shithead?" My eyes slid closed in exhaustion.

There was a brief silence and I could feel the man assessing me. "Yes." He finally decided. "You look just about dead."

I rolled my head from where it hung against my chest to my shoulder so that I could look at him without wasting energy to hold my head up and snorted in derision at the sight that greeted me. "You don't look much better, hypocrite."

It's true. His exposed skin was blistered and red, and his loose white shirt and black pants hung off his emaciated form. He must have been quite muscular, but the lack of food and water has caused him to atrophy. A green haramaka was soaked through with sweat and his face, streaked with blood and grim, was shadowed slightly by a black bandana. Despite his unhealthy appearance, he still seemed to radiate power. In this circumstance I doubted I had the same effect.

How the hell did the marines of some crummy little… wherever we are… manage to tie up a guy like this? There has to be some sort of leverage involved.

He smirked at my comment. "That's fine. I only need to survive another 11 days." I didn't respond.

There was no point in facilitating the man's delusions. He's a moron if he thought the marines would let him go. Instead I cranked my neck uncomfortably, admiring the marine base and tried to calculate how long it would take until its shadow cover me from the sun. Four hours maybe?

"Oi." The man grunted. "The least you could do is respond. We are both stuck out here together, might as well talk." I let my head fall back to my chest and grimaced in discomfort. My stomach cramped painfully and growled. "It'll take your mind off the hunger," he bargained.

I chuckled at that. "Don't pretend that this is for my benefit. You'd just rather talk to a person than to a hallucination." He glared at me stubbornly; his pride interfering with his need for human interaction. He didn't respond and I drifted off into an exhausted haze.

…

…

…

"Zoro." Several hours later the man's voice broke the silence and startled me from me tentative daze.

"Bless you."

"Wha-? No. Zoro. That's my name," he said.

The sun had long since fallen below the horizon and the inky black sky stretched over head, granting me a brief reprieve from the harsh heat. Turned out, the crucifixion yard was situated in such a way that the bases shadows never covered its unfortunate victims.

I suppose I'm fortunate to have practice resisting various methods of torture, because death by exposure was long and painful and a lesser woman would have been begging for mercy by this point. Although I didn't know who she would be begging for mercy from. No one had entered the yard since I got here.

I twisted slightly in my restraints and looked at the man. Somewhere in the back of my heat addled mind his name rung a bell. In retrospect, I feel stupid for not recognizing the swordsman. It's not like I spent years seeing his face in a manga or anything.

"I overestimated you." My voice was scratchy and barely audible.

"What?"

"Thought you'd be more stubborn." I coughed, trying to get rid of my cotton mouth. "Apparently I hit the nail on the head." He'd obviously been out here for a while and the heat and hunger had started messing with him. Talking to a person was definitely preferable to talking to a mirage.

Zoro grunted in affirmation. "19 days."

"Pirate?" I guessed.

"Bounty hunter." He said.

"Why are you here then. Didn't realize the marines were locking up you vigilantes now."

He twitched slightly, and it might have been a shrug. "You'll meet him soon enough."

I accepted the answer easily. Bad eggs were common amongst the marine hierarchy. Power corrupts. "Bad rap with the marines then."

"You could say that." He chuckles. "What about you?"

I hesitated here and the man's grinning visage filled my mind -

"Welcome to the family, little sister."

\- I had to physically jerk to shake it away. "Merc."

He gawfed incredulously. "You? A mercenary?"

"Rude fuck aren't you." Despite my words, I wasn't all the offended. Being underestimated never hurt in my field.

"Obviously not that good considering the dragged you in here half dead."

I barely suppressed a sigh. What a patronizing ass. "I was half dead before they found me. Sailed out of the Grandline." I'd like to see you try that, buddy. You'd be eaten alive. "The marines just happened to be lucky enough to pull me out of the water."

"Wanted?"

Again I thought of the smiling face of my brother. I imagined his fury in realizing I was missing. I wonder if I broke his heart when he learned I left willingly. The thought almost made me regret my decision. "In a manner of speaking." I finally replied.

"Then why'd the marines hang you out here with me?"

"My—ah— borrowed dingy flew a pirate flag."

"Stupid move."

I barked out a laugh. "Yeah, I suppose so," and I drifted off after that, my exhaustion finally pulling my under.

…

…

…

The cold water stung and shocked me into alertness. I jerked against my restraints, eyes flying open in panic, and coughed harshly to rid my lungs of the frigid liquid. It took me a moment to recognize my surrounding, which was aided by the marines situated in front of me, flanking a flamboyantly dressed blonde in a plum suit.

"Well, well, well. Good morning ~" The blonde man crooned.

I stared at him blandly. "Not really."

My nonchalance was clearly an undesired reaction because the purple monstrosities face quickly flushed in anger. "Now you listen here, you little tramp, I'm the boss around here. I could have you executed in a second!" He screeched.

His voice was very grating, I noticed hazily. I'm exhausted. If this clown could just go away I could go back to sleep.

"I'm the one who managed to lock up the Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro!" My eyes fluttered open as the sudden realization hit me with all the force of a freight train. Of course, that's why the man next to me was so familiar. "Just imagine what I could do to you!"

"Wait. Back up." Zoro interrupts me. "You're telling me that all this time you actually did know who I was?"

I blink in surprise, "Well. Yeah."

"But you said you're from the Grandline. How did you know my name then?"

"I read the newspaper dumbass. You've been mentioned a few times in the East Blue sections. Your name is attributed to all the bounties you've taken down," I say.

A contemplative look crosses Zoro's face. "Oh."

I chuckle. "Don't go getting a big head now. The only reason I remember your name is that I paid a lot of attention to bounties for my work. Wanted to make sure there wouldn't be a competition encroaching on my territory or anything like that." I shrug. "You're name isn't common knowledge outside of the East Blue."

Zoro nods in understanding, pausing to shift Luffy into a more comfortable position. "Alright, keep going." He hands his mug to Nami who refills it.

I also ask for a refill. "Basically, I told Helmeppo to fuck off. Anyone who needs two bodyguards to go threaten two half dead, incapacitated people."

Helmeppo was seething by the time I finish insulting him. He was nearly blue in the face but knew he lost the battle when he couldn't think of a clever retort.

He settled for "I'll have you executed! Just you wait and see! When my father is finished overseeing the erection of his statue, he'll chop off your head!"

I snickered. "Definitely could have phrased that one better. Death threats are more threatening when the word 'erection' isn't used in eh same sentence. I'll give you a 2/10."

My retort sent the idiot stomping off, followed by his lackeys.

I waited for him to disappear through the gate and back into the marine base before turning to Zoro. "So he's the reason you're in here? What a joke."

"He's an eyesore. He's let me go after the end of the month, though. So I don't have to put up with his shit for too much longer."

"10 more days?"

"10 more days."

I nod. "Well, then I'm going to have a nap until my execution." I passed out quickly after that. A bad decision, btu not one I really made willingly. I was just so tired. Devil fruit users and salt water really just don't mix well. Especially when combined with dehydration and starvation.

"I don't really remember anything after that. Next thing I knew Luffy was trying to pour a gallon full of water down my throat."

Luffy pouts, blowing his cheeks out in his best imitation of a chipmunk. "But you needed water."

"Unconscious people don't want water. They're unconscious." I retort.

Luffy just grins at me.

"You don't remember anything else?" Zoro asks?

"Nope."

Nami turns her attention to the swordsman. "So you just kidnapped her?"

"It was either that or be executed." Zoro explains.

"And you went along with it?" She asks Luffy.

"Yeah! Helmeppo fired a gun at her and it just bounced off her shoulder. She has a mystery power. So she's cool." He nods decisively.

I laugh at his description of my devil fruit. "And that is how I got kidnapped and forced to join a pirate crew." I finish the last dregs of my beer and chuck the now empty mug towards the barrel of beer. I can pick it up in the morning. "Any other questions?"

Nami shakes her head. "No. I'm good. I guess I just didn't expect such a cute girl to stick around. You didn't try to leave."

I open my mouth to respond but Luffy beats to me it. "She's my friend now. She's not leaving." I don't bother to retort. I'm not planning on going anywhere.

Luffy wraps a rubbery limb around my waist and drags me into an almost dogpile on top of Zoro (who had adapted surprisingly quickly to Luffy's tactile displays of affection). Nami scoots around the campfire to sit a few inches to my right and lays down across the sand, a towel pillowed under her head.

How incredibly domestic we all are. It's funny really, how easily we all seem to fit together.

Nami hums lightly, "Not going to tell us how you got in that situation in the first place?"

I smile, "Nah. I'm sure it'll come out in time, the past always seems to catch up anyways." And in my case, I could more or less guess exactly when it would come up. Perks of being a reincarnation.

I lean back against Luffy with a thump and I can feel the air rush out of his lungs as I squish him between my weight and Zoro's chest. The swordsman takes the opportunity to readjust us, and I slide off him, dropping my head partially onto his thigh and partially onto Luffy's lap. I fling my legs over Nami's stomach, pulling her into our pile.

This is good.

One day, it'll be great

"I'll wake you up in a few hours for second watch, Blue" Zoro murmurs. I hum back but am asleep before he responds.


	2. Syrup

Luffy thinks Blues explanation of how she joined the crew is hilarious.

"I was kidnapped," she says, as if she Luffy could ever make her move without her permission.

Though Blue was delirious when Luffy met her, eyes slipping blindly past his face when he tried for her attention, the bullets of her execution squad never reached her flesh.

_Weird!_ Luffy grinned and made a decision. He came to the marine base for one crewmember, but he will be leaving with two.

Zoro did carry her out of the crucifixion yard. That part was true. She was boneless, heavy under the weight of her devil fruit, but slung an arm over Zoro when he asked. He was weak, hungry, and exhausted, but Luffy agreed when he snarled, "she's coming", and didn't step on his pride by taking her from him.

When she woke up after the whole ordeal, fed and watered and tucked into a cot in the doctors triage room, out of it as hell and met Luffy, he didn't restrain himself. She shot a bewildered look at the swordsman in the doorway but answered all of the rubber boys questions.

"I'm gonna be King of the Pirates" _,_ he told her. She threw back her head and laughed. Not in derision, but in joy.

"Yes, you will," she agreed,confident, and luffy  _beamed_ like the sun.

The doctor crowded Luffy and Zoro out of the room before Luffy could tell her she'd be joining him on the ship. "She needs to heal!" The doctor insisted, and followed it with "Get back in bed, Roronoa-san!"

Luffy is not a patient man. Neither is Zoro. And they  _are_  pirates.

It's not Luffy's fault that Blue is such a heavy sleeper and doesn't wake up until six hours into the new crews voyage.

Blue woke to the rising sun and squished between the boys. "Oh" _,_ she looked around, seeing nothing but open ocean, "did you just steal me?"

Zoro realized then that maybe he and Luffy hadn't planned this out very well. He blamed Luffy, but Blue didn't look particularly upset so Luffy though it was probably ok. Only probably because there was an element of steel in her voice when she shrugged and said "don't expect me to call you captain," and settled in, content to be wedged (not stuck) between the rubber boy and the swordsman.

Luffy is pretty sure he heard an unsaid "yet" at the end of that sentence, so obviously he never actually kidnapped her. She hasn't left.

* * *

"So what's your role on the crew?" Usopp asks excitedly. The edge of wariness is starting to fade in the warmth that Luffy manages to radiate. Though he barely meets the unnerving gold of my gaze, eyes skittering past to look at Zoro and the sheathed swords at his hip, Nami and her bright hair, the green fields around us. He leads us into town. "Luffy is the captain, Zoro is the first mate, Nami is the navigator, and you are...?"

I ignore the boy for a moment to shoot a jab at Zoro, "congratulations on your promotion, crew drunkard to first mate, all in a day!"

Zoro retaliates with an jab to my ribs. My devil fruit gets in the way and he jars his fingers on the invisible limb instead. He stifles a surprised hiss and Luffy laughs at his misfortune - such an injury would never occur for him.

I turn back to Usopp and fall into stride with him, slowly letting the grin fall off my face. The sudden tension in the air causes him to swallow nervously and he briefly meets my eyes.

"I was kidnapped."

"W-WHAT?" Usopp exclaims, and for all his supposed cowardice he's pulling me to the side and reloading his slingshot almost as quickly as the the word fills the air.

Nami shrieks and shys behind Zoro's bigger form, only now starting to regain some of the lost muscle from his time in Shells town.

Luffy's still cackling and doesn't break stride as the weapon is loaded feet from his face.

Zoro scoffs. "We aren't forcing you to stay."

I laugh and move to defuse the situation created. Something tells me Usopp is going to he so much fun to mess with.

"Don't worry, I won't leave. We trauma bonded." I slide around Usopp's still defensive posture to sling an arm over Zoro's shoulders and pull him down to my height and wink at Usopp.

He goes from terrified to terrified and confused but he puts his slingshot down slowly nonetheless.

Luffy interjects, "you can be the cook."

"Can't cook."

"Musician?"

"Can't sing."

"Doctor?"

The simultaneous chuckles from Nami and Zoro earn them a dark glare. I might not be a doctor in this world, but I got kinda close before I died. So what if I'm 17 years out of practice.

"Oh wait. You were dumb enough to get caught by marines, so maybe not," Luffy delivers the punchline and I almost line him up. There will never be anything worse than being called stupid by chaotic dumbass extraordinaire Luffy.

"They abuse me, Usopp." But the banter did it's job and Usopp relaxes. We continue our walk into town, slinging jibes and laughing.

We claim a wooden booth in a small eatery in the outskirts.

The matron, an older woman with greying hair and wrinkles made from many days in the sun without a hat, welcomes Usopp warmly and doesn't ask any questions when we trail in behind him. Usopp offered an energetic white lie to explain our disheveled and somewhat bloodstained appearance. Nami was the only exception, although it's possible she the only one who made a real effort.

But who can blame me? Living on a tiny dingy with three other people and a devil fruit. At least Zoro and Nami could go for a swim if they wanted.

"Oi," I nudge Nami, "I'm going to wash up quick," and slide out of the booth and into the room indicated by the matron.

The small bathroom is without a mirror but the water runs warm and a thin hand towel on the side helps me scrub the grime out of my skin and hair. It's the first time since "joining" Luffys crew that I had a moment to myself. Jeeze. What a predicament I'd somehow managed to get myself into.

I mean. It was inevitable from the moment I was born into this world, but a little warning would have been nice. Better circumstance would have made me look so much cooler.

Like a battle. I could have jumped in and POW!

I didn't even get to show off against Buggy. I was relegated, rather rudely if I have to say, to fucking up the canon fodder and protecting the unconscious mayor. And causing collateral damage now that I think about it.

Which means in this arc, I get to be the badass. Zoro can go sit in a corner somewhere with his internal bleeding.

The crew is gone from the table when I emerge and I run out the door without a backward glance when the matron asks me to settle up.

* * *

I find the crew near the several hours later setting up defenses on the south shore.

"Yo!" I wave from the top of the slope.

"Oh! Blue!" Luffy says, "you missed lunch!"

"Did you get lost?" Nami mocks me, "I thought you were better than that."

"Got lost on the road of life. Helped an old lady with her groceries. Stole some of the groceries. You know the story." I slide down the slope. "So what's the plan?"

"The plan? You already know about the pirates?" Usopp asks.

"Nope," no point in lying, my memory is unreal but 17 years is a lot of time, and the specifics have long since disintegrated. The general gist of the plot line was easy to recall, but the details were too blurred and confused to make heads or tails of the situation, and I was effectively as blind as the rest of the crew.

"I can guess? There's and evil butler nee-pirate? There's a hypnotist involved?" I scratch the back of my head and feel my brow wrinkle as I try to remember anything else. "The pretty rich girl that you aren't in love with-"

Usopp flushes and splutters.

"-is involved somehow?" It's irritating that I don't know more. When this is over maybe I need to sit down and try write down everything that I do remember.

"Wow!" Luffy's eyes grow to the size of tea plates and it's incredibly unnerving to know that even his eyes are rubber. "You're psychic?! I knew there was a reason Zoro wanted you."

"I wish we left you behind," Zoro tells me with an irritated huff before Nami or I can cut in with an innuendo.

I wink at him, and push Luffy away when he bounds towards me like an energetic jackrabbit. "But for real, what's the plan?" I direct my attention to Usopp. It's his island so he should lead the charge.

Usopp steps forward, his knees are shaking and his voice wavers, but he doesn't flinch when he meets my gaze. "I think we pour oil down the slope here. This is the only path up to the village, the rest is cliff. They probably won't have the equipment necessary to scale it. So if we can choke them off here, we can make a stand."

Luffy nods and grins, "Let's kick some ass!"

* * *

It's the wrong shoreline, which is an  _important detail_  that Usopp didn't even think about. He had assumed, stupidly, that the attack would come from this shore because this is where he had overheard Khalador's plan.

_Stupid, stupid_!

"We need to go to the north shore!" Usopp hollers, already turning to sprint for the only defensible point along the northern path. Luffy sprints off too, cutting through the forest in a shortcut that Usopp didn't have time to consider.

_This is my home! I have to defend it!_

Blue and Nami sprint behind him, holding pace surprisingly well considering their shorter statues.

At a first glance, neither girl looks like very much. Nami is curvy, soft, and pretty with light skin that looks prone to burning and not at all suitable for a life on the ocean. Despite her appearance at first glance, closer inspection reveals calloused hands from managing the rigging and welding her bow staff. She carries herself with a degree of confidence and self assuredness that Usopp felt he could never replicate. Ultimately, however, she doesn't seem the most combat ready out of the pirate quartet. She does eventually fall behind, panting something about being right behind them and for them to  _go faster_  and something else to Blue about treasure.

Blue doesn't slow down to match the ginger and continues her sprint next to Usopp. Now that he takes the chance to properly look at her, it isn't as surprising that she can keep up. Something about her tells Usopp she is made of the same lethal concoction that Zoro and Luffy are made of, and the closer they get to the danger, the more evident it becomes.

While Usopp wants nothing more then to hole up in a bunker and ride this out, safe and away from the conflict with his village and Kaya, Blue seems to grow more and more excited. She sheds her childish facade -projected by her curly dark pigtails, wide smile, and freckled cheeks- like a snake. Suddenly it's impossible to ignore the power curling through her tense muscles underneath the writhing viper tattoo on her arm. Her narrowed gold gaze is paralyzing.

Usopp is overwhelmingly comforted to know that she will stand with (between) him and any danger.

Usopp and Blue make it to the other side of the island just in time to witness the sea of pirates begin their collective charge up the hill. The pair's sudden appearance halts them, probably more due to shock than anything else.

Usopp grippes, "If only we had the time to set up one the famous Usopp Pirate deterrent tactics!" He strikes a brave pose nonetheless and bellows, with as steady a voice as he can muster, "Hey you bastards! Leave this island at once or you will face the wrath of the USOPP PIRATES!"

He holds his ground as twenty something pairs of eyes focus on him. His arms are crossed and his head tilted back slightly so it looks like he's condescending to them.

The pirates look confused for a second, shuffling their feet and a few even glance at the man in the purple jacket.

_Is he the leader?_  Usopp wonders.

They aren't charging to attack yet.

"I'm not on your crew, Pinocchio," Blue says, exasperated. She is still joking despite the seriousness of the situation, though Usopp quickly realized that that was a common trait amongst the crew. Luffy acted the same way when he first heard the devious plot.

Usopp glares at her, knees and voice trembling. "Shhh! You're ruining our image as a united front."

"Hey," Blue grabs his elbow, "relax. I got this." She grins, predatory eyes narrowing and teeth flashing. She looks way too happy to be getting into a fight. "Cover me."

With that she turns to plunge down the hill and into the crowd.

Usopp readies his slingshot with a shout of concern after her. His knees are still shaking and he's sweating so much he thinks could faint from dehydration, but his aim is sure. Though it quickly becomes apparent that Blue barely needs any support.

It's surreal. Blue doesn't look dangerous in the same way Zoro does.

He's nearly six feet of tanned, dense, muscle and easily weighs 170 lbs. He has  _three_  swords, how he even uses all three is a mystery for another day, and a reputation that precedes him. It's undeniable that he is a threatening and capable presence, but even just knowing him for a few hours, Usopp think he's a good guy at his core. Usopp watched him handle the kids.

Blue doesn't look like she's pulled a single punch. Grown men, easily twice her size, are sent flying with a single blow. Her unreal strength is only augmented by the fact that no one seems able to  _hit her_. Attacks that look like they should slice her in half when she turns her back seem to miss in weird and unnatural ways. Swords skitter harmlessly across the surface of some unseen shield.

_A devil fruit?_  Nami might have mentioned such a thing earlier, but Usopp had forgotten in the drama of today.

One man with a large stone mallet tries to take a swing at her when she's beating down another pirate. His mallet rushes through the air and Usopp panicked: "Look out!" isn't fast enough for her to dodge.

The mallet seems to hit a solid wall several inches from her skin and the handle snaps clean off, sending the stone head spinning out and lodging in the ground half a foot from Usopp's feet.

"Aiii!" He screeches, and screeches again when Nami runs up behind him.

Blue takes the man down with a roundhouse and cackles at Usopp's surprised face and waves (waaaay too cheerfully for the curbstomp that's happening) at Nami.

Nami ignores here and wails, " My treasure!"

Which gives Usopp an  _excellent_ idea. "Halt!" He calls, hand outstretched in a 'stop' motion. "Pirates! If you turn back now we will pay you with the treasure on our ship!"

Naturally, this doesn't work at all and Nami wacks him in the back of his head as punishment, an indignant reprimand already on her lips. She shouts down to Blue, "If any of them get anywhere  _near_  my treasure, I'm charging you for every lost beli!"

"Put it on Zoro's tab!" Blue shouts back and hurls an unconscious (hopefully) body at Nami who dives out of the way.

"Zoro has a tab?" Usopp asks, incredulous.

Nami rolls her eyes, and clacks a downed man in the head. "Just to make sure," she tells Usopp.

The beaten pirates are slow to get back to their feet, suddenly a lot more cautious and nervous now that they had their asses thoroughly handed to them by a tiny girl. Blue hardly looks winded.

"Feel the wrath of the Usopp Pirates! If I can command a girl as powerful as this then you don't want to know what else I'm capable of!" Usopp boasts as if he hadn't just spent the last few minutes staying far away from the fighting. "Leave now and keep your pathetic lives!"

"Or stay and die like dogs," Blue shrugs nonchalantly and blows on her knuckles.

"Your choice!" Even Nami joins.

"Captain!" One of them cries, a hands clutching at the sand under his palms. "You didn't tell us there would be people like this here!"

"Yeah!" Another agrees, panicked gaze flickering between Blue and the purple cloaked man.

The air grows thick with tension as the few men who are still conscious climb slowly to their feet. Blue stifles a chuckle, "Come on, boys. Giving up so soon? Don't you want to play a little more? I'm having soooo~ much fun!"

A shiver runs through Usopp and Nami sucks in breath. Blue's voice has turned cold, a complete 180 to her usually warm alto.

One man rips himself from the sand a few feet from her and scrambles into a sprint back towards the boat. The purple man catches him though. "Get ahold of yourself!"

The shaking man calms for a second at the sharp reprimand.

"Oh? They're running away already?" Luffy and Zoro run up the hill behind me.

"You're late!" Usopp hollers. "We had to hold them back all on our own! It's a good thing I am the mightiest warrior on the seas!"

"Liar!" Nami turns on Usopp, enraged.

Blue turns to look back up the hill at us.

"You hardly did anything! Blue has done all the fighting!" Nami points her staff at the girl.

"Woah! Really?" Luffy cheers. A quick survey of the battle field shows that more than half the men are down for the count, though a few are gathering around the purple man. "You're really strong, Blue!"

She smiles and flexes her bicep at him, "hella strong." The cold tone evaporated, along with the suffocating intent.

"I helped, though!" Usopp feels the need to defend himself, though only Luffy bys clearly doesn't believe me.

"Here! Gather around!" We're interrupted by the captain. He has pulled a chakram from the inside of his coat. He drops it so it dangles from his fingers on a chord. "When I say 'one, two, Jango' you will all be super strong and fearless!"

"What?" Luffy asks, looking down at the crowd.

"He's going to… hypnotise them? Into being stronger?" Nami explains, confused. "There's no way that works."

The captain continues, unperturbed by the conversation on the hill. "One! Two! Jango!"

And with a mighty roar, the previously terrified and battered crowd is rejuvenated. One swings his fist aggressively into the cliff side and it  _buckles_.

"No way!" The words fall from Usopp and any bravado that puffed him up a minute ago drains from his body. It feels as if someone cracked an egg over his head and the damp yolk was running down his back.

Blue spins back around and takes a few steps back up the hill to create some distance. Both her and Zoro gear up to fend off an attack. Zoro pulls one sword from the sheath at his hip, but Luffy beats him to action.

He runs screaming down the mountain like a madman, fists flailing. "Gum Gum Machine Gun!" He shouts, accompanies by his rubbery limbs shooting forward.

Blue dives out of the way with a disgruntled "Oi!"

Zoro looks taken aback by the mad rush and sheaths his sword as the mass of pirates collapse under Luffy's fists.

Nami gapes openly, "Don't tell me that moron got hypnotised too!"

"Of course he would," Zoro says, rolling his eyes.

Blue jogs up the hill towards the trio as Luffy continues his rampage behind her. "Hey, Usopp. Does the plan to steal your girlfriends inheritance require her to sign a document or something?"

Luffy runs through the crowd of downed men, right at the captain.

"Kaya is not my-"

"Yeah, yeah," she waves him off.

"-uuh," he stutters, suddenly bearing the full weight of Blue, Nami, and Zoro's attention. "I mean, probably she has a will or something? So she'd need to edit it for her money to go to Khalador?" It comes out more as a question then an answer but Blue seems satisfied.

"Good. Then all we need to do is take out the hypnotist," she jabs a finger over her shoulder at the cowering captain.

Luffy speeds right past him for the ship instead where he clasps the keel of the figurehead between two rubbery hands and strains pointlessly against the weight of the ship. Or maybe not so pointlessly because the figure head gives way with a mighty CRACK. With a rather impressive display of raw strength, he rips the figurehead from the ship and bearing it as a club, threatens to crush the Black Cat crew with it.

The hypnotist intervenes however. "When I say 'One, two, Jango' you'll fall asleep!" He waves the chakram at the super powered rubber captain.

"Oi, Zoro! Cut the string!" Blue says, pointing at the charkram.

Zoro looks at her like she's crazy and retorts with, "I can't cut something that far away! I'm a swordsman, not a sniper!"

She nods, and turns to me, "You do it, Usopp."

He lets out a very manly 'eep'. "No, no! I couldn't-"

"Didn't you say you were a great sniper?" She retorts, but it's too late.

"JANGO!" The captain shouts, and Luffy collapses under the weight of the figure head. It crushes him completely.

"Luffy!" Usopp screams, hand outstretched. If only he hadn't thought about it or argued! He could have saved him! Nami, Zoro, and Blue are going to hate him now for letting their captain die!

"Oh," Zoro says, "He's fine. He's rubber, remember?"

"Blunt force trauma doesn't affect him," Blue adds, sounds much more calm than anyone should be in this situation.

Their words cut through then impending panic attack though and Usopp visibly pulls himself together. He's right. Luffy survived falling off a cliff head first. He's fine. He's going to be fine.

"For right now, Blue is right," Nami interjects while the crew below recovers. "We need to take out the hypnotist if we want to keep him from forcing Kaya to change her will. Zoro," she turns to him. "Cut him down, yeah?"

Zoro grunts an affirmative.

The crew below is barely standing. Many of them are unconscious and the ship is ruined. The captain is still standing though and he's summoning more lackeys. Two men dressed as cats hop down from the deck, and even though the captain is speaking to them like they are his secret weapon, they look more scared then I feel.

The smaller one takes one look at Zoro and squeals, "no, no! I don't want to fight him, captain! He'll kill us!" He attempts to bargain with his captain.

"Hey, Zoro. Lemme fight them," Blue practically orders.

Zoro looks very affronted. "What, no way!"

"You're still recovering from getting stabbed by that acrobat," she reasons, barely paying any attention to the going ons down the hill where the captain was still attempting to coax the cat men into a fight. "Scissors, paper, rock for it." She raises a hand.

"Fuck off," Zoro ignores her outstretched fist.

"Are you two really arguing over this?" Nami asked, "There's two of them!"

Blue glances at the other girl and huffs, "Fiiiiine," and turns to bump shoulders competitively with Zoro. "First one with a man down wins," and with that she's tearing down the hill, Zoro hot on her heels and no mind for caution or patience.

The first thing Nami noticed about the only female of the small crew is that she was wasteful; wasteful in a way Nami couldn't afford with the weight of Cocoyashi village on her shoulders.

One of them  _stabbed himself_. One of them let himself get  _shot by a cannon_. One of them  _intentionally_   _handicapped_ herself _._

She had a bloody devil fruit for christ sakes. But noooo~ she'd rather "fight under her own strength." Which apparently meant she didn't use her devil fruit power to fight. Absurd. As if someone can afford not to take every advantage. Blue was as thick headed and seemingly testosterone driven as the boys. Which meant the exceedingly stupid crew were the perfect targets.

At least until Nami realized they were all monsters.

This secondary epiphany only arose as Nami watched Blue hurl herself down a hill at two men significantly larger than herself with nothing more then her bare first and a stubborn (read: stupid) will to not use every power available to her (read:kick the shit out of them with her devil fruit).

Yes, she supposes Zoro is going in after her, and at least  _he_ has swords (though three is a little excessive), but no one is naturally dumb enough to bring fists to a knife fight. Except Blue.

Nami is entirely unsurprised when one of the cat men, and ugly, narrow man with hair even more mordant then Zoro's, stabs her. Nami is surprised when the girl shrugs of the blow with a laugh and a flick of her dark pigtails, a patronizing flash of midnight blue causing just enough of a distraction for Blue to bury a bone crushing punch in his ribs.

Blue firmly cements herself in Nami's mind as equally as dangerous as the boys, and her plan to rob them blind becomes precarious. Nami very much does not want to end up on the other end of any of these three.

The fight ends almost too fast to follow after Captain Kuro shows up. Luffy beats him into the ground, even when the guy moves faster than any human should. Blue and Zoro are good, undeniably, but Luffy is unreal.

Luffy is also annoyingly charismatic, because a day and a party later they are sailing away on a new ship with a new crew member. Nami nicked a few valuable looking items from Kaya's mansion as payment. None of the pirates - except Usopp, who barely counts - seem to mind when they find out.

Sailing away from Gecko Island, Nami is several thousand beli closer to her goal and in  _way_  to deep with this crew. If Blue looks at her a little strangely and Zoro still doesn't trust her then that's fine. It'll make it easier for her to leave later.

* * *

"How'd you get your devil fruit?" Luffy asks early one morning after we departed Gecko Island.

The sun is barely edging over the horizon, dying the sky a pearly pink. Soft woolen clouds hang low and catch the diffused light. Soon they will be brazenly red, backlit on a gold sky.

Luffy is balanced on the Merry's crows nest railing, one leg woven unnatural through the wooden railing to tether him in place. Contrary to my splotchy memories of the manga, Luffy has quite a few of these quieter moments. When the sun comes up and he's awake he's practically half feral. All scruffy haired, bright eyed, and stretched out all over the deck in the way only a rubber man could accomplish. When Zoro, Nami, and Usopp emerge from the cabin and the promise of food fills the air, he'll be back to running around. But now, a whole night awake on watch he's quieter and less abrasive.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want," he says when I take too long to answer.

"It's not that," I tell him, "it's just that you haven't showed any interest in any of our histories. Why the change?" I lean against the rail next to Luffy, eyes trained on the horizon.

Luffy looks at me, a hand propping up his head cocked quizzically to the side. "Dunno. Zoro is going to be the best swordsman, Nami is going to draw a map of the whole Grand Line, and Usopp is going to be a great warrior of the sea. What do you want?"

"And what exactly does my devil fruit tell you about that."

"I got a hat and a devil fruit."

I scan the horizon for oncoming threats once more before forcing myself to meet Luffy's gaze. "I got tattoos."

Luffy frowns slightly and maybe subconsciously places a hand on his hat, to affirm it's still there. "Are they from important people?"

"Yes."

Neither of us elaborate on the story behind the straw hat nor behind my tattoos.

"You didn't have to bring me," I tell him after a long few minutes of silence.

Luffy looks affronted at my insinuation that he might be a bad judge of character. "Zoro said you were cool. And you deflected bullets while you were asleep!" He explains as if that justifies everything. He pouts suddenly, and I'm reminded that he's only 17 (I'm not older, but at my own 17 I've already seen more of the worlds horrors than I wanted). Still impatient and petulant and  _young_. "Tell me now. Captain's orders!" He circles back to his original question.

I am surprised he even remembers what he originally asked. I stifle a chuckle and turn to face him more fully. "I would if I could, but I sold myself to the devil while I was a baby. I don't even remember my life without it."

And it was true. The ude ude no mi was a part of me before I even knew who I was. The paramecia fruit has warped my morphology to such a point I wouldn't know how to exist without it's constant weight on my back and neural inputs into my brain. The six invisible arms growing from my back were as easy to manipulate as the two flesh and blood ones at my sides.

Luffy looks intensely thoughtful for a second. "I don't really either. I was less squishy but softer. I got hurt more I think. I was so bad at using my gum gum pistol," he makes a weak punch, letting the skin stretch just far enough for him to look unnaturally long limbed.

I pull his cheek, still somewhat fascinated by its capacity to stretch. His skin feels normal. It snaps back with a low twang when I release it.

The sun is rising more fully now and Luffy seems to warm up with it. Filling up on sunshine like some photosynthetic flower that blooms during the day. He turns a bright smile to me, all teeth, and shishishi giggles. We sit and watch the sunrise together and he doesn't ask me anything else.

I realize later that I'm relieved. At the end of the morning, Luffy really doesn't care who any of us were. Not Nami who's acting slips more and more every day she spends aboard, or Usopp who spins his tales and fills himself as the main character every time. He doesn't care that Zoro, the not-a-pirate-hunter won't tell him who he's hunting. ( _Yet. He doesn't care_ yet _. The Past will catch up to each and every one of us though._ ) He only cares who we will be. The best navigator, sniper, swordsman.

I don't tell him who I was -

But when the scent of food starts wafting from the kitchen and Luffy makes to leap over the banister, I catch him. Six limbs wrapping effortlessly around his small body and pull him back to the crows nest. He weighs practically nothing to me. He stops complaining when I tell him who I'm going to be; I owe him that much.

"I'm going to kill a king."


End file.
